084 Borussia Moenchengladbach FUENF - Muenchen NUUUUULL

We are a bit blasé about it in our recording, but we have to admit that Borussia Mönchengladbach, very probably the best club in the world, produced a magnificent performance, a work of art and infinite beauty, a lesson to others that will stand the test of time.

Bayern Munich, who have been gallavanting around Europe and Germany recently, spreading shock and awe and refusing to score less than four goals per match in the Bundesliga and Champions League, were thoroughly and comprehensively beaten, thumped, dissected, annhilated, made a laughing stock and sent home crying for Mummy in the second round of the German Cup. We were too fast, too good, too aggressive for them. From now on, they can just send the points to us in an envelope.

Joshua Kimmich was on the verge of tears and forgot to whine about unfair treatment; Manuel Neuer was too distraught to claim offside after he was made to look a fool for goal 3 and nutmegged for goal 4; Thomas Müller, for once, lost his jovial demeanour and could only stammer that he had never been so humiliated in his entire career at Bayern. Aaaah, a memory to savour for all eternity, a reason to grin smugly and condescendingly the next time we meet Uli Hoeneß.

Oh yes, and we also talk about three Bundesliga matches against mediocre teams that didn’t go so well, too. And we preview Friday evening’s match against Mainz.

The Legendary Goal is also a work of art, a thunderbolt that woke us from ten years of rubbish football, that still brings tears of joy to every Moenchengladbach supporter: Marco Reus’ first Bundesliga goal for the Masters of the (Football) Universe, against Mainz on 28th August 2009, an epic solo, the first of many until he succumbed to the Dark Side and joined the Forces of Evil.

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband