083 Marco who

Marco who?

So … we thought we would be reduced to feeble attempts at scorning Marco Whatshisname for … what was it we were angry about again? We were prepared to spit venom and spew bile after three depressing performances and subsequent humiliating defeats. We had been planning to do our own version of the BBC’s “Just a minute” for all three of the last matches, except without the humour or wit.

But instead, we offer you a fun-packed and fantastically entertaining podcast filled with razor-sharp analysis, breathtaking insights and lots of “I told you so”‘s, with sprinkles of “as I said a couple of weeks ago”, as we delve into the matches that brought victories against two German Champions League contenders: The Forces Of Evil (a.k.a. Borussia Dortmund) and the Bundesliga’s hardest, most physically intimidating and unfairest team (not club), Wolfsburg. (There might have been another match since we last recorded, but we don’t remember the result, and we doubt our team even turned up.) It seems as if Adi Hütter has found the magic formula to make everything click into place. Join us to find out what he did right.

The Legendary Goal comes from Václav Svěrkoš, another of our frustrating, underperforming strikers, who had occasional moments of glory (in this case in the third round of the German Cup in 2003 against VfB Stuttgart) for which we still love him to death: “Svěrkoooooooooš!!!”.
Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

082 What a difference a match makes

And the difference is a win at home! 90 short minutes (plus injury time) and those moments of bliss, those thrilling Denis Zakaria runs, brought us our first win of the season. As Dinah Washington would undoubtedly agree, there’s nothing better than three points in the league, and we definitely prefer a win against relegation-battling Bielefeld to an epic draw against the serial Bundesliga champions.

In our view, this warrants a euphoric, over-the-top 3-hour-special, but we have painstakingly edited the podcast down to our standard smoothly and professionally executed 30 minutes. Forget the peevishness and ill-humour of our last podcast and join us to celebrate (I’ll say it again) Denis Zakaria, as well as superhero Capitano Lars Stindl. Honourable mentions are made of some of our talented young new team members who gave it their all. Brows are furrowed as we wonder why Fabian Neuhaus can’t stop playing those kamikaze passes. It’s Alexis’ turn to recount what it was like to be in the half-full Nordpark stadium. (Spoiler: It was fantastic!)

Oh yes, there’s a quick preview of our next match, away to Augsburg (groan!), a team not unlike (shudder!) Union Berlin.

“Legendary goals” tries to settle the delicate nerves of Borussia Mönchengladbach fans by featuring Lars Stindl’s goal against Augsburg in 2015. (Lars must be thrilled to bits that he is second only to Juan Arango in the Legendary Goals hitparade!)

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

081 Oh, good grief, Charlie Brown!

Boo! Nothing compares to that sinking feeling you get when you realize on match day three that your team are going to have ANOTHER “difficult” season, just like the last one. The same players as last year (and the year before that) seem to be committed to making the same mistakes again and again and again (individually and collectively), despite having a brand new, hitherto successful and highly regarded new coach to work with. (Wait a moment, that sounds familiar somehow.)

This time around, the nightmarish afternoon in Leverkusen and the dismal display in Berlin make the memory of the epic performance against Bayern Munich fade into insignificance. In a valiant effort to keep you entertained, informed and addicted to our podcast, we struggle to come up with new thoughts or at least words to talk about the chronic “Mönchengladbach disease”. Find out if we succeed.

Other topics: how it felt to be in the Nordpark stadium again (against Bayern Munich), developments on the transfer market, and the upcoming match against Bielefeld.

This time around, the legendary goal was scored in Bielefeld and the ball defied the laws of physics but not because the scorer commanded it to (so for once it can`t be by Juan Arango). No, it is in fact our star striker of 1997, Andrzey Juskowiak, who somehow manages to bundle the ball into goal twice. Witness the slapstick and hear about the amazing facts and statistics behind our first away win of that season. And enjoy the streaker. (You don’t see that on television anymore!)

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

080 Oh yes, let them beguine, make them play

Begin the season!

Hooray! Nothing can beat the adrenalin rush that comes with the start of a new season (no matter what went on the season before). Especially when your team begins the beguine with a win in the domestic cup. We discuss the hard-fought 1:0 at the Betzenberg, no mean feat when taking into account its infamous atmosphere, its braying fans and Kaiserslautern’s traditional “robust” style of play.

Other topics: what our boys did in their summer holidays (at Euro 2020, that is), new team members and possible developments on the transfer market, the first match of the season on Friday against Bayern Munich (a must-win, of course). We also go off on a few tangents and dwell on “failed players” and first matches of the season against Bayern Munich.

This time around, the legendary goal was scored in Kaiserslautern and the ball defied the laws of physics (so it can only be by Juan Arango). In keeping with the wistfulness in the lyrics of the Cole Porter classic, we share our bitter-sweet memories of the match.

“Oh yes, let them begin the beguine, make them play.”

Legendary goal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=202YBohR9vc

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

079 With all due respect, be gone! Sir.

“With all due respect, be gone! Sir.”

Actually, in the meantime we have had a change of heart and we are quite glad the season is well and truly over. Before sending it on its way into the history books, we describe the various forms of embarrassment and shame brought about by the three last matches of the season, analyse whether or not team spirit also played a role, and wonder how we will remember 2020/21. Finally, should we be optimistic about next season?

A fond farewell is bid to Oscar Wendt and Ibo Traore who are leaving the club. Thank you, Mr. Traore, for agreeing to greet our listeners at the beginning of each and every episode of Vollraute Abroad. Other players and members of the coaching staff (what were their names again?) are also leaving the club. We will definitely not miss them (Chief of Security Worf, your cue) as much as we will miss making this podcast in the summer break.

Are we looking forward to next season? Well, is Juan Arango the greatest ever?

and…THE legendary goal of the decade:


078 April skies

The ups and downs of the three games against Frankfurt, Hoffenheim and Bielefeld in late April left us feeling emotionally exhausted and in need of a wee break. Are we actually quite glad the season is almost over, and are we looking forward to the summer break? Of course not!
Our team’s mystifying return to and loss of and return to form within eight days is a main topic, as is the upcoming match against Bayern Munich, the exciting prospect of qualifying for the brand-new European League Conference and traveling to exotic locations next season, and the fear of losing one or more of our “football gods” at the end of the season.
One of these football gods provides this podcast’s Legendary Goal in a match where we bossed Bayern Munich about in their own stadium, as we seem to have formed a habit of doing every second year.
The Jesus and Mary Chain, apparently, are not interested in football but the lyrics to one of their many Golden Oldies remind you of how it feels to be a fan of probably the best club in the world.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK9WYDKbiR0&t=96s

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

077 Retreat of the body snatchers

Finally: the turn-around! Manuel and Alexis muse on how sheer luck and good passing football so suddenly und unexpectedly returned in the match against Freiburg. Then: an emotional debate about controversial refereeing decisions and the heroic, epic battle of 10 good men in Berlin. And of course your absolutely impartial experts on all things Borussia Mönchengladbach provide you with all you need to know about Adi Hütter, presently coach of sensationally in-form Eintracht Frankfurt, and soon-to-be coach of the best club in the world.
For legendary goals, we, yet again, couldn’t resist Juan Arango, this time with a mind-melting 35-yard rollercoaster strike against Frankfurt in 2012.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZIDSzD0uJQ

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

076 I can't go on, I'll go on.

Manuel and Alexis analyse Borussia Mönchengladbach’s performances in the month of March, a true mensis horribilis. Does the win against Schalke 04 mean light at the end of the tunnel? Can Marco Rose go on? There has definitely been a shift in opinion regarding our future ex-manager succumbing to the Forces of Evil. In our Legendary Goals section, a tribute to one of Borussia’s greats, Lothar Matthäus, a player who always gave everything for his team and recently celebrated his 60th birthday.
For this podcast’s title, it’s back to literature for the quote.

“I can’t go on, I’ll go on.” Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable

1984 Elfer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_CS0l3bbuc

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

075 Bear the unbearable

1-2 v Mainz, 0-2 v City and 2-3 v Leipzig – Manuel and Alexis try to make sense of the downward spiral that set off (or accelerated) after Rose’s announced departure in the Summer: attacking football is dead and the team is still conceding goals. In the centre of attention: the coach. Manuel also goes on a rant about tactical v individual coaching and why Rose is therefore to blame for the meek performances while Alexis quotes the Japanese emperor’s radio address to his people at the end of WWII…
Our legendary goal of the week come from mullet-sporting extraordinaire Frank Schulz, 1991 vs Bayer during an emphatic 5-2 away victory. No video available; here’s the Sportschau ‘Goal of the Month’ link:
https://www.sportschau.de/sendung/tdm/archiv/chronik90er/mai1991tdm100.html

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband

064 Legendary goals

Again Manuel is joined by Alexis and they talk you through the night in Milan and introduce a new category, featuring Elliot.

Credit: Intro/Outro-Musik von Nomoredolls, Electric Sheep, http://www.jamendo.com/de/track/275278/electric-sheep
Topic-Jingle: Apple/Garageband
Thanks to Ibo Traoré & Elliot :-)